Fairness and Zykophants

Let’s say, for a split second of fantasy, that we live in a fair world. How would OCReMix look during that split second? Fair has never… Okay, I’m not gonna try to make that funny. My lawyer suggested lack of humor might help my case.

 

60,574 posts, 2,124 threads. I’m talking about the Reviews forum. I’m gonna make a quick scientific experiment. I observed that McVaffe had an unhealthy amount of reviews in comparison with other recent remixes. Further observations should confirm that many OCR forum members are sycos (not to be confused with zyko).

 

I’m gonna list 10 recent remixes and estimate their value based on a formula. The remixes are: Harmony of Destruction, H2O, Nuclear Flash, Kirby’s Mystical Track, Celestial Winds Blah Blah Blah, Heatman (Just a Fuse mix), Livin’ la vida Stockholm, A Day in the Life of a Judge, and Yet Even More Final Fantasy VII. And yes, I’m using nonary for this post.

 

For the sake of fairness, I’m not gonna include the two Final Fantasy tracks just outside the range I just set my mind on using in this statistical experiment. That means that both emo-FF and FFVI tie with Mega Man 2, each with 2 remixes.

 

On average, there are 2 reviews a day on new remixes. The actual number of reviews per day is much higher, due to OA, DA and others, but the older reviews don’t count here. It should be mentioned that at least OA is often seen on the first page of recent review threads.

 

The top scoring tracks here were not FFVII tracks, surprisingly. Less surprising was the sycophancy, most reviews were of McVaffe’s Okami remix and the Sixto Sounds/zircon Mega Man 2 collab. The top scoring tracks had more than twice the average.

 

More surprises await in the low range, with judge JJT and newcomer Kidd Cabbage. Both tracks were from Final Fantasy games, and received less than half of the average number of reviews. While surprising, it doesn’t really break convention.

 

I’ll sum this up by saying that some remixers have a significant status, and I’d like to attribute the unfair review balance to subliminal messaging but there’s a simpler explanation, namely that a significant portion of remix fans are sycophants, and I’m coming after you with Occam’s Razor if you disagree.

 

Monotonic Monopoly

OCReMix has an annoying tendancy to remix tracks from the same games over and over and over again. Leading the race is Chrono Trigger with a prepostorous 86 remixes, followed by Final Fantasy VII with a stupendous 79 remixes. Coincidentally, both these games have had OCR fan arrangement albums made. Anyone see a pattern here?

 

Let’s test that hypothesis. If a fan album is the cause for the ridiculous amount of remixes, the same should be true about the other games with associated fan albums. All games with associated albums should be having fantastic amounts of remixes. Kirby’s Adventure proves this is false.

 

The humongous interest in the music from these games can be attributed to composer extraordinaire Nobuo Uematsu, but since my lawyer says I should refrain from attributing anything to that particular composer again in these analyses, another cause to blame must be found. One could argue that the games were popular among music nerds and nerdy musicians back in the days before video games were as normal as they are today, but that would exclude more unlikely possibilities, something I’m sure dr House wouldn’t approve of.

 

In the spirit of House MD, I should consult a number of experts before telling them they’re all wrong, but as I’m trying to maintain a secret identity, I’m gonna ask myself instead. Those possibilities I’ve come up with that I will completely ignore are: people like the story, people like the music, people like the gameplay.

 

I’m gonna suggest Square (with a total of 418 remixes) has been attempting to take over the world since long before becoming Square Enix (2 remixes). Much like megalomaniacs like EA, Square Enix is all over the market, and seeing what a fan of FF7 my sister has become from just seeing the emos in Advent Children, this seems plausible. Subliminal messages is one possibility, but I seem unaffected. Then again, I missed out on FF7, which suggests exposure to both is required. Further research would likely confirm this, but I’m convinced I can’t be wrong about anything so further research is unneccessary.

 

I can only assume exposure to subliminal messaging both games causes a psychosis-related condition in which reality is shifted towards diverting attention to the music of the games, ignoring the propaganda they may contain. It seems that since I have played Chrono Trigger, I can’t examine FF7 without exposing myself to this. I assume a symptom on the condition is the inability to notice this.

 

Further research might required to independantly confirm this, but i am confident I am right no matter what I propose. There are most likely subliminal messages in both games, but requiring exposure to both games to induce the psychotic state, like in that one Batman movie. Fortunately, I figured it out.